


My first

by MangaBitch



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Age Difference, Apologies, Arguing, Attempted Sex, Awkward First Times, Awkward Sexual Situations, Awkward Tension, Bedrooms, Beds, Blushing, Bottom America (Hetalia), Boyfriends, Boys Kissing, Confrontations, Cute, Cute Ending, Dorks in Love, Embarrassment, Emotional, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Explanations, Fear, Feelings, First Time, First Time Bottoming, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, Frustration, Gay, Gentle Kissing, Gentleness, I Ship It, I Tried, Inner Dialogue, Innocence, Intimacy, Kissing, Lemon, Loneliness, Loss of Control, Loss of Virginity, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Up, Male Homosexuality, Misunderstandings, Nervousness, No Sex, No Smut, Older Man/Younger Man, Panic, Past, Protective Russia (Hetalia), Romantic Fluff, Rumors, RusAme, Self-Reflection, Shock, Short & Sweet, Short One Shot, Shyness, Silence, Social Anxiety, Staring, Sulking, Talking, Teasing, Tension, Top Russia (Hetalia), Trust, Tsunderes, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, Watching, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-01
Updated: 2018-11-01
Packaged: 2019-08-14 07:05:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16487990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MangaBitch/pseuds/MangaBitch
Summary: America acted cocky and a smooth-talker, but he was secretly innocent when it came to matters of sex. But Russia was more than willing to take control





	My first

America's cheeks reddened a darker shade as he felt himself sinking deeper into the mattress. His mouth dry, his body shaking a little and his heart hammering so fast he couldn't think straight. He was being pushed against the bed by his slightly older lover. There was no way to escape or distract him, though he could put up a good fight, when he was serious there was no changing Ivan's mind.

Though he did love to snuggle, kiss and hug his lover, this was a new territory he was not used to. Though he knew it would happen at some-point, he had hoped they would both be mentally prepared. That was not to say he was a virgin, he had plenty of experience but with women. But now he had a better understanding of why they were so scared. To put such trust and control in another person, despite knowing that it would hurt. They were indeed brave.

He had honestly never been in this position before when he was intimate with someone. Usually it was the other way around and he was the one taking the lead. It felt strange to be on the bottom for once. He would usually breath or prepare himself somehow, but instead he was just being pulled straight into the front lines. He was unprepared and had no idea of what to do, what to expect.

He had hoped that Ivan would help soothe him, ask questions or reassure him. But he wasn't saying anything much at all, he was acting more like a lion going in straight for the kill. It was like he was having fun with this, not telling him anything and just doing whatever he wanted. As much as he did love Ivan, there were times when he really got under his skin. This was one of those moments, as creepy as she was he really wished Belarus would walk in right now.

Russia loomed over him quietly, his violet eyes playful and filled with that same look of childish cruelty. He was obviously having fun with this and that didn't make Alfred feel any better. "You are blushing America" he teased. The hero who was usually so confident and honest was now so awkward and nervous. His red face made him look like a strawberry, he wouldn't if he would taste just as delicious as the fruit.

Taking in all of his lovers perfect features, his expression and his reactions. Seeing America's loud, obnoxious and annoying attitude fall away. Seeing his composed face flush with colour, lose focus, his words a mess and unable to communicate. Sometimes saying nothing at all was best, you didn't always have to have control. Sometimes you just went with it and waited to see what the outcome would be.

America pouted, this wasn't fair by any means at all. Russia was obviously having fun with this, given he was the one in control here. Wearing his usually creepy smile that didn't help things at all. He couldn't help but wonder aside from his childish cruelty if Russia was a bit of a closet sadist. Not that he was abusive in any way, oh no. But he did have a habit of teasing him and making him cry.

But like hell he was going to let him have all the fun, he wasn't going to sit here like a deer in headlights while Russia preyed on him like a hungry wolf. "You may be used to this sort of thing, but I can't say the same Ivan. Sorry that I'm on edge ok!" he scoffed defiantly. He was not afraid to talk back to Russia, after all he could hold his own against him. So, he was not going to let Russia have his fun while he was freaking out.

This wasn't a game, he wasn't some toy that was meant to entertain Ivan when he was bored. He was his boyfriend, he was a person and he had feelings. He wasn't going to sit here while Russia slowly teased him while he felt like he was going to pass out. This wasn't fair, if he didn't love Ivan so much he would have punched him in the face right now. He wasn't being fair at all, he wasn't thinking about how his actions effected him whatsoever.

There was then a long silence, not a sound came from either of them. You could hear the tap dripping and a pin drop in the distance. The silence deafening and the rise of a new awkward aura beginning to grow. Things having gone from nerve wracking, awkward and playful to uncomfortable within the snap of a finger. Completely changing the situation. Time having stopped as a more serious mood befell the two males.

Russia then stopped, no longer approaching his lover. Staring at him quietly, a pained expression appearing on his face. He was rather hurt to hear such a comment from his boyfriend of all people. He was already aware a lot of people thought badly of him, but he thought as the hero that America would be different. Gripping his hands tightly into balls, the clenching sound of his fingers breaking the silence. Why did things have to turn out this way, he was starting to enjoy himself, feel happy even.

"Do you really think that badly of me America?" he asked in a husk tone. His boss was constantly asking him to make friends despite his discomfort about it. But he didn't enjoy being lonely he just had trouble connecting to people. But that only made things worse for his reputation. Some nations spread the rumour that he had forced himself on other nations in the past. He knew other nations thought him to be cruel and enjoyed hurting other people. But in reality, he would never dream of doing such a thing to anyone, especially Alfred.

He had done bad things in the past, he was well aware of his actions and mistakes. The cruelty he had caused and the ways he had hurt people. But not always were these directly his own actions, sometimes he was ordered to commit these acts by his boss. Hell, he was the incarnation of his country, when his people did awful things they hurt him too. Why was it people saw him as nothing more than a monster who could hurt people? He had feelings the same as anyone else did, he was just not good at expressing them.

But he truly loved America, he was one of the few close to him he deemed precious. He wasn't like the others who spoke about him behind his back or feared him. He treated him like everyone else, but did he really think him to be so easy. Did he think that he simply took people whenever he wanted, that he saw everyone as the same and simply slept with them for fun? Did he think that he had simply started a relationship with him based on the desire to sleep with him?

He then leaned back slowly and rested on his knees, a hurt look on his face. Trying not to cry at the fact America could even think such a thing about him. His head bowed so his bangs fell in front of his face, he had really wanted to do it with America. He had wanted to feel closer to America's heart, to feel connected to him in the most personal way. To rest his head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat as they fell into a content sleep after their passions.

"Ya lyubly tebya America, is this not what lovers do?" he asked in an innocent tone. He had learned that when two people loved one another they became intimate to show their love physically. Was it so bad that he wanted that with America? France was the biggest flirt out of all the nations yet nobody was scared of him? So when he pursued America with the same intentions, he was seen as scary? Why was he the bad guy?

America meanwhile lay on the bed in utter silence as shock began to overwhelm him. The complete personality change now throwing him off guard. I mean he was used to it by now but how quickly his boyfriend could change moods was a little scary. Now Russia looked like a lost child, not knowing what to say as a response. Eventually sitting up slowly still blushing, shifting under Russia's weight. Guess he would have to be the hero for a little while.

Russia meant him no harm here, but there were social norms he did not always understand about others. Things that were ok in his country or others that were not for his nation. Sure there was nothing wrong with being confident, but at least comforting your lover and asking questions if they seemed unhappy or nervous was not a bad thing. To know what was good to do and when you should stop.

"Yeah, it is, It's just…. You seem really comfortable about this" he replied defensively. It was supposed to be normal to be nervous when you finally had sex with your crush or partner. Yet Russia was barely reacting that way at all, which was a little off putting. For him the room was spinning a little, he was crying a little out of panic and didn't know what he should be doing. If he should strip or if he should remove some of Russia's clothes. Foreplay would be nice at least.

Russia blinked, staring at America in silence. Now he understood a little how America could misunderstand him, as he had not fully been honest. He was only doing what came naturally, touching your lover came to you by instinct more than anything. "I use my imagination, I'm sure America has had such thoughts about me too da?" he replied playfully. They were only human after all. Having had dreams about his american lover very often, it was like re-enacting it but only in real life.

America softened, he couldn't argue with that. He had a few dirty thoughts about Russia more than once. He then sighed heavily, he couldn't avoid the subject anymore. Shifting nervously under Russia's gaze. "How about we just take it slow?" he asked hopefully. There was no need to rush with this, they could just take their time and become comfortable with touching one another. Real life was different than fantasy when it came to sex.

Things were slightly painful the first time, more awkward, discomfort, shyness and all that. It was never how they made it out to be in movies, nobody was that smooth. Hell, even he knew that but it was fun to watch. He had never touched another man before, Ivan was his first real boyfriend. Until now he had only ever been with women despite his attraction to both genders. So this was very new to him.

"I would like that" Russia replied cheerfully, beaming a warm smile at America. If they took it slow, then there would be less pressure and sex on either of them. The last thing he wanted was to cause discomfort or fear in America, he wanted him to be comfortable. He would help him relax into this, to get him used to being touched. But he had no doubt that America would come to enjoy it when he got used to the feeling.

America smiled bashfully, trying not to laugh under his breath. Getting used to touching one another would make this easier before they got a bit more serious. To become familiar with one another's bodies, feeling safe and happy when touching one another. He then pulled Russia's scarf bravely, pulling the silver haired male towards him. Closing the gap between them, gazing into his lovers' eyes. Being able to smooch his lover would be nice, to taste the familiar flavour of his lips.

"Kiss me Ivan" he replied bravely licking his lips a little. It would help set the mood to a little more romantic and help distract him from the nerves that lingered. So that his heart wouldn't smash against his chest so much anymore. His heart wanted Russia more than anything, but his gut was still butterflies at the minute. So getting used to the feelings and eventually knowing when he was ready to make it a little heavier would be nice.

The playful smile on Russia's face returned, America was so cute it hurt. Moments like these that only made him want to eat him up all the more. Being able to see America's face in the throws of passion would be something he would remember for a long time. "Da" he replied obediently, slowly leaning forward to capture Alfred's lips with his own.

* * *

 

**Ya lyubly tebya, America- I love you America**


End file.
